What's Hot in Hollywood!?!?

Texting your friends warnings not to see the new Indiana Jones flick. This "word of mouth" gone wrong is spreading the bad news about the Crystal movie around the country faster than the Andromeda Strain. (Not to be confused with the mini series on A&E this Monday and in fact really good.)

Facebook Gangsta

I usually hate this type of shit...but Sean Modica is always hilarious.

Kennedy getting better : relief to hack comics everywhere

Thousands of hack comics breathed a sigh of relief when Massachusetts Senator was able to return home from a hospital stay where doctors discovered a brain tumor.

The Great Senator has been a staple of comedians' acts for many years. With his heavy new England accent, his sorted lifestyle and his famous family - comedians have been able to ignore his great contributions to this country and make him the butt of many drinking jokes.

But now with his worsening health, it might not be appropriate to make fun of a sick man. This reporter sends his prayers to the Senator and his family.


"This doesn't just affect us, the road comics," stated Tucker Bryans aka "The White Shucky Ducky" from his Chevy Nova/home in Waco Texas, "Morning dj's, Afternoon talk show hosts, night time dj's. Even the funny guy in the office would be at a great loss if the senator does not get better."

"Impersonating the Senator, alluding that he's a drunk and that he might have killed a woman, is great fodder and paid for this #4 combo meal we are enjoying, " said the generous Juan Tomato of the comedy team "Tomato and Pepe."

Please note: This reporter had a #2 not a #4. Pepe did not have anything since he is a foam squirrel puppet.

"What's the big deal? I still do George Burns talking to Dr. Ruth. They've been dead for years,*" piped up Voice-o, "The man of 127 voices" - five of which are unfair racial stereotypes.
"I'll just change it up. 'Tedd Kennedy recovering from brain surgery, it would go a little something like this(VOICE-O TURNS AROUND AND TURNS BACK TO THIS REPORTER AND THEN TURNS BACK)..."Erra, erra, erra, ouch...' It writes itself. I just pray Deniro doesn't fal in a pit or something. Now can I take your order?"

Please note: This reporter ordered the meatloaf special with curly fries. This reporter also had a Diet Pepsi, even though he asked for a Diet Coke.

*Please note: This reporter is happy to report that Dr. Ruth is very much alive.

Byron Allen to moderate the Dem debate

In order to keep the next Democratic debate interesting, the party has decided to make it a party by tapping none other than Byron Allen to moderate/host.
Allen is of course the host of the interview shows "The Entertainers" and "Kickin' it with Byron Allen." This debate will be in the style of his latest after hours show, "Comics Unleashed."

This debate will mark the first time Allen has been on TV before 1 AM since "Real People."

Here's what to expect:
The debate is on the "Comics Unleashed" set that looks like a bachelor pad in the 70's.

Allen: Time to get unleashed. Say hello to Barack Obama! Hillary Clinton!
Cedric the Entertainer! And Kim Coles!
Obama: Thank you.
Clinton: Thank you, Byron.
Cedric The Entertainer: What up.
Coles: Ladies in the house!

Allen: Obama, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand you are for "change." What's that all about?
Obama: Yes, I think it's time for America...

Allen: OK. OK...Hillary, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand you like to take calls at 3 AM. What's that all about?
Clinton: Well Byron, it's not that I like to get calls, I have the experience in case God forbid it happens.

Allen: OK. OK...Kim, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand you don't like the dating scene. What's that all about?
Kim: Nope. You go on an internet date, you might get a virus. HA! You have to look out for number one, right ladies?

Allen: OK. OK...Barack, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand people say that you are a Muslim. What's that all about?
Obama: I am not a Muslim. I am a Christian. I am a devout Christian. I have been a member of the same church for 20 years. I pray to Jesus every night.

Allen: OK. OK...Hllary, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand you tell people that Barack is a Muslim. What's that all about?
Hillary: Of course not. I mean, that, you know, there is no basis for that. I take him on the basis of what he says. And, you know, there isn't any reason to doubt that. No. No, there is nothing to base that on. As far as I know.

Allen: OK. OK...Cedric, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand you hate to fly. What's that all about?
Cedric The Entertainer: Have you seen the size of the peanut bags they try to give you? I'm a grown ass man!
(CROWD GOES WILD)

Allen:We'll be right back.

Comic Vs. Audience: A Comedy Podcast Review

Comic Vs. Audience: A Comedy Podcast Review

Announcement from Altavista

The search engine Altavista Made an announcement at a large press comference today.
"We still exist. F Google."

Same sex marriage ban lifted, noncommittal gays shake in boots

"I can't use the law as a reason not to commit," says blogger ORange35981, "I like the way things were. Now I have to find another excuse or move to Seattle."

Homosexuals in the past would have a civil union, but not be unified or recognized by the government. You could call someone your "wife" or "husband" without being legally bond to it.

There was some restraint. Some gay men would wait up to 3 years of dating someone before referring to him or him as his husband. Lesbians would wait even as long as dessert on the first date before committing to a life together.

"I knew this woman was to be my wife right away," says Notorange12, "From the moment she answered my ad, I knew she was the one. I got her email and immediately hired a moving truck.

Great News! More According to Jim!

ABC was smart enough to bring back the long running "According to Jim." If you haven't seen the show it centers around Jim, played by Jim Belushi author of "Real Men Don't Apologize," who is married and has three kids. He struggles each week to remain the king of his castle. The show has been on since 2001.

This season the show was hardly promoted and airing at different times. It almost felt like they were just burning off the episodes so they can later sell them off to syndication. It's owned by the network that airs it.

My only regret about the sitcom/famcom staying around one more year after a year of it hardly airing or being promoted,is that Jim and the rest of his hilarious cast and writers are locked up for another year and will be unable to give us other shows or movies. What a loss.

News 3rd hand: Subways have video ads

We give it to you third.


Laist.com reports that metro.net reports that video ads will appear on subway windows.
It says that it will bring a minimum of $240,000. Is that worth it?